I Almost Let My Financial Stress Get The Best Of Me
In this publication I strive to be real with you—that includes the ups and the downs of this journey—.
While I began planning for my next year one thing I lost sight of was making it completely through this year. I stopped pitching my products and services which in turn resulted in lower income for last month and this one. I started celebrating my wins and reflecting way too soon.
Kind of like that story with the tortoise and the hare.
I wound up spending a good part of the money I made last month on bills and didn’t have enough left over to cover the one bill that is arguably the most important…
My mortgage!
Typically you have the mortgage payment due on the first of the month with a 14 day grace period. This month I was looking at the 14th without enough money in my account to cover the now already late mortgage. I started to freak out.
One of the things that I’ve been most proud of on this entrepreneurial journey is not missing a mortgage payment. It was my little slice of “I did it”. Now I’m standing face to face with guilt, shame, and anxiety around what I’m going to do to move forward.
I share this story with you very transparently for two reasons:
I think it’s incredibly important to demonstrate that even as someone who has the often highlighted “financial literacy” and additional training in financial psychology covering trauma, stress, mindset, etc… that I too can fall victim to the very things I spend my time teaching people about.
Mental health is at the forefront of many conversations this week after the news broke that Stephen “tWitch” Boss an American dancer, TV producer, and TV personality committed suicide at 40.
As educators, “influencers”, or consumers of financial content we have to be mindful of not only the potential impact in the delivery or consumption of content, but also of how we internalize our own reality against what is being demonstrated or seen online.
Many of my conversations of late have centered around this idea that there is no “right” way to do money. That everyone is constantly adjusting and being agile with the knowledge and experiences that they have to make the best possible decisions for themselves and their families right now.
That hopefully those choices will pay dividends in the future. That we need to shine more light on the things that cause us to feel guilt, shame, or embarrassment so that we don’t allow these issues to pile up impacting overall physical, financial, and mental health.
I figured out how to get my mortgage paid—on time— and while it solved the one problem that day it created another problem in the future. In deciding how I was going to manage this risk I made due with what I had in that moment at least solving the one problem and giving me time to prepare for the next. Sometimes all we need is a little time.
It’s important to realize that at the end of the day, it will all work out and that there are resources often available to help if you are intentional and vocal about seeking them.
As an independent contractor/entrepreneur I’ve had to come face to face with many of the values, beliefs, and ideologies held previously about money to make some very hard decisions but what I’ve learned and continue to learn coming out the other side of it is how to help those who experience these hardships daily; not because of indecision, or personal choice but because of too little income, not enough support, and a lack of awareness around resources.
I hope as you enter your weekend that you can reflect on the things that cause you angst financially or otherwise and realize that it’s going to be ok. That the flashpoint moment is just that, a moment. And that we’re in the journey to overcome financial trauma together!
If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 immediately.
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Thank you always,
Rahkim