I Almost Committed Check Fraud!

Tuesday, 8:30 AM

October 1, 2024

Dear Reader,

You ever want something so bad that being told ‘no’ makes you want it even more because, well it’s the principle?

That was me some time around the age of 6 or 7. I saw an infomercial on TV for something that I asked my mom for and she flat out told me NO.

If you’re old enough to remember infomercials you remember how they’d make it seem easy to make “Four easy payments of $19.99 when you order by phone” or something like that.

Back then I didn’t know what a credit card was but I did know where my mom kept her checkbook. She had a leather checkbook carrier and in my mind I just knew that’s where the money was.

One day while she was at work the informercial came on and I thought to myself now is my chance, I grabbed the checkbook like I’d seen her do too many times and started writing who knows what in it before I realized something:

I had no idea what I was doing!

Wouldn’t you know it, shortly after I decided to abandon ship I heard the keys jingling in the door as my mom got home from work. I tore the check out and tossed the checkbook (leather holder and all) under the couch hoping it would go unnoticed.

Unfortunately for me I didn’t realize she had the carbon copies of all the checks she wrote and would find me out despite my best efforts to destroy the evidence.

I’m almost certain that turned into a butt whipping!

I’m sharing this story with you because it’s one of my earliest money memories with my mom. Do you ever think about your earliest money memories?

I know I don’t, but this memory was triggered when working with my most. recent set of pro bono clients at a local library. They were mother and son, each coming in for a 1:1 session with me.

The mother was about my mothers age, she had concerns about retiring and whether or not she was “on target”, while the son was 10 years or so younger than I am looking for advice on getting “set up” for the future.

The question I asked them both was simple:

What does that look like for you?

You see, we are socialized to believe that retirement is an age and that if we can’t support ourselves with the assets we should have gotten in our 20s and 30s then we are somehow behind or a failure.

We approach our lives from a numeric formula without accounting for emergencies, priority shifts, job changes, relocations, medical bills, etc. that undoubtedly will throw us curveballs before we hit that magic number.

The mother’s idea of retirement was simple.

She wanted to travel.

I asked her, what’s stopping you from doing that now? She looked at me with a sort of confused grin on and she said, “Well, I guess I am.”

And that’s mindset shift she mentioned made her feel all the better for coming in to see me.

She didn’t win a million dollars.

She didn’t magically pay off all her debt.

She simply reframed the way she was thinking.

I applauded the mother/son combo for coming in together and sharing in front of each other their individual goals, dreams, sacrifices, and plans for taking control of their money decisions. I encouraged and invited them to continue the dialogue without me being present, not as an authoritative mother/son dynamic, but as two people trying to figure out life.

They started breaking intergenerational financial traumas by being in that room together with me all because they created the space to talk about money with each other.

I went to my mom’s house afterwards and we started to talk about money too, because what good am I preaching this gospel in public if I don’t take the same advice in private?

Do you talk to your family about money? Parents, children, siblings? Let me know in a response to this email or drop a comment if reading on Substack.

If you liked this story, next time I’ll tell you about the time I got robbed for my McDonalds and what money lesson I learned from that experience.

Talk soon,

Rahkim